The following material was provided by Kara Kohnen, LMFT of Grow Through Life Counseling, inc. which is a team of great therapists who love helping children and families. We can be reached for serviceshelping children and teens in San Diego at 619-549-0329 or www.growthroughlifecounseling.com
Divorce is a challenging time for any child or teenager in life and certain times can be more challenging than others. For any youth going through this transitional time in their family, lots of support and open communication with trusted adults is am important part of their healing process. The benefits of going to professional counseling provide a neutral place for the child to process what is happening in their family without the worry of having to take sides or hurt their parents feelings.
Common Symptoms of Children of Divorce:
Wishful thinking parents will get back together
Blaiming themselves
Belief they need to fix the problem
Pressure to keep the peace
Worry about when they will see parents aagain
Worry about life changes - school, homes etc.
Worry about money
Parenting Advice During Divorce:
Provide ongoing reassurance it is not their fault
Let them know both parents will still love them
Let them know it is okay for them to love both parents
Avoid speaking negatively about either parent in front of the children
Listen and stay calm with children’s responses and emotions
Allow children to ask questions
Allow for emotional response to the changes
Provide clear and honest responses to questions
Provide reassurance they are safe to decrease worry
Aim to keep routines as similar and consistent as possible
Encourage open feelings expression
Build hope for family being healthier and happier than before
Additonal resources:
Good Parenting Through Your Divorce by Mary Ellen Hannibel
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way by Gary Nueman
Talking to Your Kids About Divorce by Jean McBride
Crazy Time by Abbigail Trafford
When Children Grieve by John W James and Russell Friedman
Kids books:
Living with Mom and Living with Dad by Melanie Walsh
Two Homes by Claire Masurel
Why Can’t We Live Together? The Kid Size answers to the King Size Questions about Divorce by
Madison Lovato and Lucas Lovato
Why Am I Going to Counseling? by Kara Kohnen
13 Reasons Why Am I Going to Counseling for Teens by Kara Kohnen