Helping Your Child Navigate the Journey of Grief and Loss

Kara Kohnen
13 minutes ago
3 min read

Grief is a difficult experience for anyone, but it can be especially confusing and overwhelming for children. When a child faces the loss of a loved one, their understanding of death and emotions is still developing. Supporting a child through grief requires patience, clear communication, and emotional sensitivity. This guide offers practical ways to help your child cope with loss and find comfort during a challenging time.

Eye-level view of a child sitting quietly on a park bench surrounded by autumn leaves — A child reflecting quietly in a park during fall

Recognize How Children Experience Grief Differently

Children do not grieve in the same way adults do. Their reactions depend on their age, personality, and previous experiences with loss. For example:

Young children (ages 3-6) may not fully understand that death is permanent. They might ask repeated questions or expect the person to return.
School-age children (ages 7-12) begin to grasp the finality of death but may feel guilt or responsibility for the loss.
Teenagers often experience complex emotions and may withdraw or act out as they process grief.

Understanding these differences helps caregivers respond appropriately and avoid frustration when a child’s behavior seems confusing.

Create a Safe Space for Open Communication

Children need to feel safe expressing their feelings without judgment. Encourage them to talk about their memories, fears, or questions. Use simple, honest language that matches their level of understanding. For example, instead of saying “They went to sleep,” say “They died and their body stopped working.”

Listen actively and validate their emotions, whether sadness, anger, or confusion.
Avoid rushing the conversation or pushing them to “get over it.”
Let them know it’s okay to cry or feel upset.

Use Age-Appropriate Resources to Explain Grief

Books, stories, and activities can help children understand and express grief. Choose materials designed for their age group that explain death in clear, gentle terms. Some ideas include:

Picture books about loss and remembrance
Drawing or writing exercises to share feelings
Memory boxes where they can keep photos or mementos

These tools provide a way for children to process grief at their own pace and feel less alone.

Maintain Routines and Provide Stability

Grief can disrupt a child’s sense of security. Keeping daily routines consistent helps create a stable environment. Regular meal times, school attendance, and bedtime rituals offer comfort and predictability.

Inform teachers or caregivers about the child’s loss so they can provide additional support.
Encourage participation in familiar activities and hobbies.
Balance time for grieving with moments of normalcy and play.

Model Healthy Grieving Behavior

Children learn how to cope by watching adults. Show them that it’s normal to feel sad and that expressing emotions is healthy. Share your own feelings in an age-appropriate way without overwhelming them.

Avoid hiding your grief completely, as children can sense when something is wrong.
Demonstrate coping strategies such as talking with friends, journaling, or taking deep breaths.

Seek Professional Support When Needed

Sometimes grief can be too difficult for a child to handle alone or with family support. Signs that professional help may be needed include:

Persistent withdrawal or extreme sadness lasting months
Decline in school performance or social interactions
Expressions of self-harm or hopelessness

Licensed counselors or child psychologists specialize in grief support and can provide tailored guidance.

Close-up of a child holding a small photo frame with a picture of a loved one — Child holding a photo frame with a picture of a lost family member

Encourage Remembrance and Rituals

Honoring the memory of the person who died can help children feel connected and supported. Simple rituals might include:

Lighting a candle on special dates
Creating a scrapbook or photo album
Planting a tree or flowers in their memory

These acts provide a sense of meaning and help children express love and grief.

Be Patient and Give Time

Grief is not a linear process. Children may revisit feelings of loss months or even years later. They might ask questions again or show emotions unexpectedly. Patience and ongoing support are essential.